Oops, I did it again

Had a good day at work, made amazing progress with my research, felt well rested – so naturally, for no reason, I started chewing my lip again. Relapsing after 20 years is strange to the point of inexplicable.

The best way I can describe it, is that it feels like you’re eating a cancer out of the innards of your lip. The blood tastes sweet, the pain is immense, the membrane is stringy, and it just feels incredible.

Never mind I have blood literally flowing from my mouth right now and all over my arms. Never mind I’ve almost bitten a hole. Never mind this will give me weeks of unpleasant agony and I won’t be able to talk properly.

3 months since I last did it. This time 4 times as bad. Two painkillers, two sleeping pills, then bed. If anything happens to me, I went out on a high.