Morsicatio Labiorum: Lip biting as a lifelong habit

I’m writing this because there’s not much out there about it. I was a chronic lip-biter from the age of around 6 to 18. When people think of lip-biting they think of people biting the outside of their lips, but that’s not accurate. We bite the inside of our lips, lower or upper, resulting in a mouth wound or ulcer.

Some studies say this is because of anxiety. I don’t think I suffered much anxiety at the age of 6. I can’t tell you why I did it. but I can tell you I seriously injured myself twice doing it. And I can tell you it felt good, and like the most natural thing in the world.

I’m writing this now, because I relapsed last night – probably the first time in 10 years or more. I did it infrequently in my 20s. maybe a couple of times in my 30s, and not at all in my 40s until last night. But the ritual is exactly the same as it was when I was a child.

When I was a child, I’d get a pressure build up in my upper lip when I’d run, and I’d have to bite my lip to release that pressure. The more constant trigger though was when I felt I had a cold or an illness coming on. I’d bite my middle-lower lip because my brain told me it would make me feel better.

My brain would guide my teeth to the exact spot that I had to bite to release the blood. Then I’d bite at it until I popped the membrane and could taste the blood. I’d suck on the wound for a minute or so then, to drain the blood, and my brain would instruct me how much more and which pattern I needed to bite to ease or heal the illness that was forthcoming.

The amount of pain sometimes almost causes a blackout. But you know, if you just bite that one spot, you won’t get ill. Eventually your brain tells you “that’s enough, you’re done now, you’ve done enough” and you stop biting. But that’s not the end of the ritual.

Within a couple of days a white membrane will form over the wound in the form of an ulcer, like a scab over a wound. You have to bite that off, too, suck away the blood, and let the wound heal open. You don’t have to eat the membrane. it’s not unpleasant, it just doesn’t matter. The idea is to never let a protective barrier form for the wound.

Cures such as Anbesol or Bongela sting in a good way when the wound is open. They feel amazing. Also dripping neat brandy onto the wound can recreate the ‘sting’ that will ease the mental torment.

The two times I seriously injured myself, I bit through to my gland – once when I was 18, once when I was 26. Those times were uncomfortable, and stopped some of the obsessive biting. but never completely cured it.

I’m very surprised I found myself doing it last night and that I couldn’t stop it. I can’t even remember the last time I did. But anyone else who bites their lips in a ritualistic manner, you’re not alone. I’m not sure if it counts as self-harm or not – I don’t think so, as I was doing it from such an early age – but maybe the pain and release cycle is linked.

Any other chronic lip biters, please do get in touch, and maybe we can work it out together.

Total exhaustion: the perils of over-committing.

I reached the point of exhaustion today. I spent 5 hours creating a forecasting report, 18 hours making trophies and 20 hours writing product descriptions, packing and mailing. Took the car in for service, made two post office visits on foot, set up a new insurance policy and…

Absolutely dead.

What’s even more depressing is none of this is work with short-term gains. It’s stuff I won’t see results from for months.

I may not be a doctor, or anywhere near the stress of a doctor, but stress levels are high & and it’s a sign to slow down a bit.

A good sleep, and a slower day tomorrow as reward.

Intermittent Fasting – My Trials and Tribulations

intermittent fasting

I qute enjoy using intermittent fasting as a method of weight loss. I get super focused and have a huge energy boost after 24 hours, but always start to feel hungry around the 40 hour mark. I’ve tried IF a few times, along with alternate day fasting. It’s not the most successful diet plan I’ve ever followed, but it does get results.

Today, I find myself in the middle of an unintentional fast after an upset stomach. I’m on 36 hours now, and there’s no real shift in weight. Historically my weight has been:

20165th December10st9
201713th February10st5
20179th April10st2
201721st May10st
20179th October10st2
201710th December10st9
201819th January10st4
20192nd January10st6
201913th December11st
202011th January10st11

Quite the rollercoaster. Indeed, the only plan that’s ever really worked for me in the Amelia Freer plan, but without hours to spend in the kitchen, it simply isn’t doable.

This year, my aim is to drop 20lbs, but whilst I’m surviving off takeaways, I’m not sure how it will work. I love pasta, I love cheese, and I generally love any food that isn’t good for me. I’ll start to exercise a bit more again, but not until February – starting in January is setting yourself up to fail.

I have a couple of companies who are supplying me with their products to try out. I’m a willing guinea pig – if you have the miracle weight loss product or supplement, hit me up, I’ll write about it! For now, though, I’m ordering pizza.

Here’s to good health in 2020…

Kombucha for Red Bull

Kombucha from Kevita and No.1 Living

I’ve been a Red Bull addict for over 25 years. I regularly consume 8 cans a day, without too many ill effects, apart from the fact that I rarely sleep. I can’t see me ever completely giving up the Red Bull, it’s my only source of caffiene, but doctors, nurses and friends alike have asked me to cut down – and so this year I am swapping out some of my regular Red Bull Sugar Free for Kombucha.

I hate tea. I detest the smell and the taste more than anything else in the world, it turns my stomach like nothing else can. Therefore, I was reluctant to try Kombucha. However, upon seeing a tumeric and ginger infused version by No.1 Living, I was intrigued. And what do you know, I quite like the drink.

My favourite so far is Kevita Master Brew (sadly made by the Pepsi Company as oppopsed to any small organic farm). Ginger and Wild Cherry are amazing. I also like No.1 Living’s flavouts but it lacks the carbonated kick I need from a drink. What worries me is that there is so much sugar in all the versions – maybe Red Bull Sugar Free is the better option? But my doctor tells me it doesn’t hydrate me properly, so I’ll try swapping out for a while.

I’ve already learned that I can’t treat Kombucha like I treat my Red Bull and cane down numerous bottles a day. However, it makes a nice alternative and I’m hoping to slowly introduce more drinks into the range – or maybe make Kombucha of my own.

A Life of Win in 2020

My dream is to live a winning life in 2020. This is ground zero.

I’m one for making big resolutions at the start of the year and never carrying through with them. For example, I could resolve to update this blog daily – but I know I won’t. However, I am using it as a way to keep myself accountable, and I hope to provide others with the inspiration to follow through on their goals in the 2020s, too.

My main aim this year is to make $100K working for myself. Everything else will pale into insignificance, probably, as I’ll be so flat out working, I may not find the time to rest. This blog is also here for me to share my goals for a given week; report on whether I’ve kept on track, whether I’m stressed and doing too much, and as a means to organize my thoughts. It’s no lie when I tell you I have 6 businesses on the go, and I’m not devoting enough time or energy to any of them. My aim this year is to balance them all and stop neglecting the ones that have slipped through the net.

Even with that goal in mind, I have to be careful not to allow the simple joys of life pass me by. I have to make time for my friends and family, get out in nature, exercise and look after my mental health.

2020 is a reset year for everyone. A time to start again. A time to welcome a new decade and to let go of the drama and misery that may have haunted you before. Whatever your new year’s resolutions are for 2020, I wish you luck, and hope my blog provides some inspiration along the way.