A year of Hollyoaks in two weeks

I’ve just successfully completed a year catch up of Hollyoaks in a two week period – all of 2019 in a giantic binge. It’s become a lot more circular lately, storylines last long past their sell-by date, and the villagers are just diving into and out of relationships with each other.

Here’s a 2019 recap of those we lost along the way.

Mac dies after being poisoned by Breda. As this is the second time we’ve taken Mac for dead, it’s no surprise that James looks into the bodybag this time to make he really was dead. James being one of my favourite characters, it’s been a joy seeing Romeo take after his father. Tom turning into a worrywart killjoy – not so much.

Louis Loveday got killed by Breda. Harry got killed by Breda. That was just a strange storyline. I didn’t feel any great sympathy for either death, despite having had the guys in my life for a very long time. Tony got attacked by Breda after he realises she’s the serial killer and she keeps him held hostage at her pigfarm – the same way she did with Louis.

Lily’s death shook me, and I cried s. The love triangle between her, Romeo and Price was immature but it was enthralling. One of the most tragic and worthless deaths, which echoed a friend I lost after GCSEs before going on to A’Levels. Perry gets accepted into university and Tom uses his money to set up a summer camp called “Tom’s Turtles”.

Ste goes far right, except it’s the most stereotypical and ill-researched portrayal of the far right ever. Peri, Tom and Harley have a thruple relationship that lasts for about a month and ends with Harley leaving the town.

After harrassing Sienna, Laurie rapes Sinead and attempts to rape Diane. He escapes jail after Finn attacks him in a prison van causing it to crash, finds Sinead at a festival, but dies from head injuries sustained in the crash whilst attacking her.

My favourite romance has been Brook & Ollie. Not a lot of interest in Transvestite Scott / Loveday Ever-Exapnding Family / McQueen & Black Family Feuds / Maalik drama drudgery. A completely underwhelming terrorist bombing – Dave going to jail for it was comedy gold. Maxine’s Munchausen’s (or Munchkin disease as Goldy put it) was quite fun. Cindy & Darren & Nancy & Sienna as integral as ever. James & Liam’s relationship, just about perfect – why can’t the bad guys live forever?

With Warren Fox making (yet another return) along with John Paul & Finn, things could get interesting again. The final episode of the year, on New Years Eve, contained flashfowards that seem to suggest the kids get involved in drug dealing – even Ollie’s considering it. He’s sobbing in a toilet about how much he misses an unidentified “he”… and whilst rumours abound about it being Luke that dies (Luke is dying after all), or him losing the baby, I reckon he may be cut up about Imran

Let’s take our bets on who’ll kick the bucket in 2020, now!